


our kingdom come

by januarys



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-30
Updated: 2013-03-30
Packaged: 2017-12-06 23:38:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/741509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/januarys/pseuds/januarys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ME3. Earth was the pinnacle of their nightmares. John and Kaidan remember.</p>
            </blockquote>





	our kingdom come

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in a similar style to another fic I wrote awhile back, so it's a little different to my usual fluff and stuff. Like a stream of consciousness? I'm not sure. All I know is that I started another playthrough because I just _miss_ these two, and I just had to share my sadness with you all! Maybe one day I'll write something happier. I can't promise that day will be soon. Hope you like it.
> 
>  
> 
> _Edit 4/4: switched the POV's around!_

_kaidan  
_ kaidan remembers earth in flames, london burning like the old poems ashley used to recite during downtime, _god everything is so different now,_ john avoiding his eyes as the seconds tick away, smoke and death _smoke and death_ , and

john’s hand gripping his waist  
his lips desperate against his own  
gloved fingers resting against the pulse on his neck  
john’s breath against his lips  
 _john_

 _be safe_ lingering in the air between them, john’s impossible blue eyes betraying the mask settled on his face, _i’ll be waiting—_

kaidan remembers the freckle on john’s shoulder, calloused hands claiming as much of kaidan’s skin as possible, breathless phrases thrown in the dark of the cabin, _i love you_ in the air but never spoken aloud, tangled sheets around their limbs, the crook of john’s neck where he could rest his cheek against john’s collar, fingers resting against his fluttering pulse—

fire across his skin, his amp burning on his neck, fresh burns lacing through his shoulder and along his back, john pushing him onto the normandy, _safe and home_ _but not without_ john, and

i love you, always

kaidan remembers that nothing else mattered. not earth, not a rattled implant, not horizon, not anything because _i love you_ and _always_ , and— john sounding out those words like they were _goodbye_.

john turning away, kaidan reaching out to fill the widening space, _(don't leave me behind.)_ , the normandy pulling him away from john, from john _after all this time_ and—

(the normandy isn’t home anymore. not without him.)

*

_john  
_ john remembers earth as a sharpened blur, the sky black with smoke and death, an impossible light burning his vision, the hope of surviving past the final battle, and the fear that kaidan _wouldn’t._

john remembers garrus at his back, the world exploding around them, iron and dirt on his tongue, kaidan’s fingers linked with his as he pushed him onto the Normandy, _safe_ , _home—_

(don’t leave me behind.)

—john remembers his armour becoming one with his skin, the decay that became the oxygen in his scorched lungs, anderson slipping away with a smile on his weary face, his body giving into the darkness—

gloved fingers against kaidan’s jaw  
 _i love you, always_ the only words heard above the destruction as—  
kaidan realises that _this is it no please why wasn’t there more time, more time_ —  
and turning away being the hardest thing john had ever done

—three choices, a veiled fourth, raw blisters screaming against the handle of his pistol, earth burning before his eyes, kaidan kaidan kaidan _i’m sorry_ and


End file.
